129+ Clever Marriage Puns To Inspire Your Love Story

Marriage is a beautiful union between two people in love, but it is not without its challenges. The ups and downs of married life are something that every couple experiences and humor can be a great way to navigate these challenges. One fun and lighthearted way to inject some laughter into married life is through the use of clever marriage puns.

From witty one-liners to clever wordplay, marriage puns can lighten the mood and bring a smile to anyone’s face. Whether you’re a couple looking for a way to connect, a wedding guest looking to add a little humor to your toast, or simply someone who loves a good pun, there are plenty of marriage puns to enjoy. In this blog post, we’ll explore the world of marriage puns, sharing some of our favorites and exploring why these playful jokes are a beloved and enduring part of married life.

What is Marriage Puns?

Puns are a form of wordplay that exploits multiple meanings or sounds of a word to create humorous effects. Marriage puns are a type of pun that uses expressions related to marriage or a specific wedding context. A pun can be a wordplay on the bride’s name, the couple’s last name, the wedding theme, or the ceremony.

Puns can be a great way to add humor and lightheartedness to an otherwise solemn occasion. They can break the ice and make the audience feel more comfortable. Additionally, they can also showcase the speaker’s wit and creativity.

The Art of Marriage Puns: Tips For Timing and Execution

Writing puns is an art that requires some creativity and careful consideration. Here are some tips for crafting and delivering marriage puns:

  • Keep it simple: The best puns are often the simplest ones. Avoid obscure references or complicated wordplay that might confuse the audience.
  • Be original: Try to come up with puns that haven’t been used before. A fresh take on a pun can make it more memorable.
  • Consider your audience: The pun should be appropriate for the occasion and the audience. Don’t use puns that might be offensive or inappropriate.
  • Timing is key: The delivery of a pun is crucial. Wait for the right moment to deliver the pun, and be prepared to pause for the audience’s response.
  • Practice makes perfect: Practice delivering the pun before the day of the event. This will help you feel more confident and natural when delivering the pun.
Funny Puns For Marriage

Best Short Marriage Puns

Funny Puns For Marriage

  • I asked my wife if she was mad at me. She said no, but the way she said it made me feel like she was crossing her fingers.
  • I’m trying to organize a hide-and-seek tournament, but it’s really hard to find good players.
  • My wife says I have two moods: hungry and angry. Apparently, she also doesn’t like me when I’m hungry.
  • I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
  • My wife says I’m the cheapest person she’s ever met. I’m not buying it.
  • My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
  • My wife says I’m the best at fixing things around the house. Which is funny, because I don’t remember fixing anything.
  • I bought my wife some reversible jackets. She doesn’t know how to wear them.
  • I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
  • The difference between a marriage and a coffin is that in a coffin, you are dead. In a marriage, you sometimes wish you were.
  • My wife asked me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
  • I used to play piano by ear. Now, I use my hands.
  • My wife told me I was immature. I told her to get out of my pillow fort.
  • Marriage is like a bank account. You put in, you take out, you lose interest.
  • I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
  • A wedding is like a salad. The cake is the crouton.
  • Women always call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
  • I’m thinking of getting a bunionectomy. But I’m worried it might affect my other foot.

One-Liner Marriage Puns

  • Marriage is like a game of chess. The queen always protects the king.
  • My wife and I have a great marriage. She’s the queen, and I’m the jester.
  • Marriage is like a long game of “I Spy.” You spend years looking for something, and when you finally find it, it’s usually right in front of you.
  • They say marriages are made in heaven. But so are thunder and lightning.
  • A successful marriage is all about compromise. For example, my wife watches the movies she wants, and I watch her watch movies.
  • Marriage is like a game of poker. Sometimes you get a pair, sometimes you get a full house, and sometimes you get dealt a bad hand.
  • Marriage is like a roller coaster. There are ups and downs, twists and turns, and at the end, you usually feel a little nauseous.
  • Marriage is like a diet. You start off with good intentions, but eventually, you just give in to temptation.
  • My wife told me she wanted to be treated like a princess. So I put her on a pedestal and ignored her for the rest of the day.
  • Marriage is like a movie set. You have to keep rehearsing the same scenes over and over again until you get them right.
  • I told my wife she was my better half. She said, “That’s not saying much.”
  • Marriage is like a zoo. You have to learn to live with animals that are completely different from you.
  • My wife says she’s leaving me because I talk about video games too much. Goodbye, Super Mario, hello, Super Single!
  • Marriage is like an annoying song that gets stuck in your head. No matter how hard you try, you can’t stop humming it.
Best Short Marriage Puns

Marriage Puns for Kids

  • Why did the groom wear a suit of armor to the wedding? He wanted to protect his bride.
  • What’s the key to a successful marriage? A lot of oars in the water.
  • Why did the bride cry at the altar? She was getting cold feet.
  • What do you call two snails that just got married? Snailmates.
  • What do you call a marriage between a snowman and a snowwoman? A snowball.
  • Why did the wedding cake go to school? To get frosted.
  • What did the bride say when she got a diamond ring? “I’m beaming with joy!”
  • Why did the bride throw salt on her future husband? So he wouldn’t get cold feet.
  • What did the ring say to the finger? “I want to marry you!”
  • What do you call a wedding between two birds? Tweethearts.
  • What do you call a bunch of married cows? A meat and greet.
  • What do you get when you cross a wedding cake and a computer? Wedding cake-app.
  • What do you call a wedding that takes place in a hospital? A merger.
  • Why did the bride carry a rabbit to her wedding? She wanted a bunny moon.
  • Why did the groom cross the road? To get to the wedding chapel.
  • What did the groom say when the bride walked down the aisle? “Wow, you sure do clean up nicely!”
  • Why did the bride wear white to the wedding? So the groom would know what color to wear for the rest of his life.
  • What do you call a wedding between two doctors? A merger.
  • What do you call a wedding between a ghost and a witch? Aboo-witched.
  • Why did the bride refuse to marry the math teacher? She didn’t want to marry into a family that always had wrong answers.

Marriage Puns Used in Movies

  • “Marriage is like an unfunny, tense version of Everybody Loves Raymond, only it doesn’t last 22 minutes. It lasts forever.” – Beth in Knocked Up
  • “Marriage is like a battlefield, son. You gotta be ready to face anything and everything.” – John Quincy Archibald in John Q
  • “Marriage is all about trust, compromise, and communication. Communication, trust, compromise… and sex. And don’t forget about sex.” – Rodrigo De Souza in You, Me and Dupree
  • “My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married, and I didn’t want him to.” – Rita Rudner in The Aristocrats
  • “The key to a successful marriage is acceptance. Accept everything about your spouse. Especially the things you can’t stand.” – Mrs. Kuzawa in The Break-Up
  • “Marriage is like a game of chess. Sometimes you have to sacrifice a piece to move forward.” – Dyan Cannon in Heaven Can Wait
  • “I’m not saying marriage is obsolete. I’m just saying that the idea of spending the rest of your life with one person is a little outdated. Like cassette tapes.” – Mindy Kaling in The Mindy Project
  • “Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.”
  • “A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes into it.”
  • “Marriage is like a good wine. It gets better with age and it can give you a headache in the morning.” –
  • “Marriage is like a book. It has its ups and downs, but you’ll keep reading because you want to know how it ends.”
  • “Marriage is like a tea bag. You don’t know how strong it is until you put it in hot water.”

5 Examples of How Marriage Puns Grab Attention

Here are 5 examples of how marriage puns can grab attention in different situations:

  • Wedding speeches: “Marriage is a great institution, but who wants to live in an institution?”
  • Online dating profiles: “Looking for someone to put a ring on it and share my Netflix password with.”
  • Marriage counseling: “They say marriage is like a deck of cards, you need two hearts and a diamond. But sometimes all you get is a joker.”
  • Social media captions: “Marriage: when dating goes from ‘we should go here sometime’ to ‘we need to buy this for the house’.”
  • Marriage proposals: “Will you be my happily ever after? Or should I keep looking and dreaming of a fairytale ending?”


Marriage puns can bring a dose of humor to any relationship. It’s important to find laughter and joy in the mundane aspects of life, and these puns offer just that. Whether you’re in a happy marriage or experiencing some bumps along the road, taking a moment to laugh with your partner can help ease tension and bring you closer together.

We hope that you found this post enlightening and entertaining. Thank you for taking the time to read our blog and for showing an interest in the world of marriage puns. If you have any feedback about this post or would like to share some marriage puns of your own, please leave a comment below. We would love to hear from you!

Don’t forget to visit our website for more ideas on how to spice up your relationship with humor and laughter. We believe that laughter is the best medicine, and there’s no better way to cure the monotony of everyday life than with a good pun. Keep the laughter going and thanks for being a part of our community!

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