131+ Funny Bagel Puns To Start Your Day Right

Bagels, the classic breakfast food that has become a staple for many around the world, can also be the perfect source of inspiration for a slew of puns. These quirky, sometimes cheesy, but always creative puns about bagels have become popular among people of all ages and backgrounds. Whether you’re looking for a clever way to complement a friend’s outfit or simply looking to make someone smile, bagel puns are an excellent way to use humor to connect with others.

But it’s not just about being funny – bagel puns also showcase the versatility and adaptability of this beloved food. From sesame to everything bagels, they offer endless possibilities for wordplay that can be used in various social settings. In this blog post, we’ll explore some of the best bagel puns around, highlighting their wit, humor, and versatility. So if you’re ready to laugh and (hopefully) learn a thing or two, stick around and enjoy the ride!

What are Bagel Puns?

Bagel puns are jokes or play on words that make use of the name or characteristics of a bagel. These puns can be humorous and are often used in casual conversations either for entertainment or humorous effect. For instance, a classic example of a bagel pun is “I don’t always eat bagels for breakfast, but when I do, I prefer gold-plated ones.” Bagel puns are often used to add a bit of levity or humor to a conversation or situation.

The Art of Bagel Puns: Tips for Timing and Execution

As with any good joke, timing, and execution are key elements to nail it. Knowing when and how to deliver a bagel pun is crucial to guarantee maximum laughter and appreciation from your audience. Here are some tips to help you out:

  • Set the Mood: The environment and the people around you play a huge role in determining the success of your bagel pun. Make sure to gauge the situation and the audience to see if they’re willing to engage in lighthearted humor. If you sense a tense or overly serious atmosphere, maybe save the pun for another time.
  • Don’t Force It: There’s nothing more cringe-worthy than a forced pun. If the opportunity to deliver a bagel pun doesn’t arise naturally, then it’s okay to let it go. Trying too hard or being constantly on the lookout for openings can make the joke feel misplaced and unfunny.
  • Keep it Simple: The beauty of bagel puns is in their simplicity. Don’t overthink or over-explain your joke, or else it will lose its essence. Sometimes, the most straightforward wordplay can be the funniest.
  • Look for Inspiration: If you’re in a rut and can’t think of any new bagel puns, then try looking for inspiration around you. Pay attention to the shape, color, texture, and toppings on your bagel, and try to create puns based on those elements. You can also seek ideas from books, TV shows, or the internet.

Best Short Bagel Puns

  • I got a bagel for breakfast. It was a hole new world.
  • Don’t worry, be bagely.
  • I don’t always eat bagels, but when I do, I have lox of fun.
  • Why did the bagel go to school? To get a few degrees.
  • Are you a bagel? Because I have a hole in my heart that only you can fill.
  • What do you call a bagel that can fly? A plain bagel.
  • Why did the bagel break up with the cream cheese? It was getting a little too spread out.
  • Have you heard about the new bagel diet? It’s low-carb because you can’t afford a bagel with your financial situation.
  • I always buy six bagels at once. They say that’s a half dozen, but I think it’s a hole one.
  • What do you give a sick bird? A bagel so it’ll feel beddar.
  • I love when my bagel crusts me out.
  • Why did the bagel go to the doctor? It was feeling a bit crummy.
  • I was going to tell you a joke about a bagel, but it was a bit stale.
  • Did you hear about the baker who tried to make a bagel from scratch? It was a bit of a dough-saster.
  • Why don’t bagels like to fight? They always end up getting toasted.
  • What did the everything bagel say to the plain bagel? You need to spice up your life.
  • How do you know if a bagel is happy? It’s smiling with jelly.
  • I told my doctor that I ate too many bagels. He said I needed more aioli and error.
  • Why shouldn’t you trust a bagel? It’s always trying to get a rise out of you.
  • What do you call a group of bagels playing instruments? The jam band.

Funny Puns for Bagel

  • Bagels are like people – some are everything and some are just plain.
  • My bagel took a sick day because it was feeling all bready.
  • The police officer told the bagel to freeze because it was lox-ed up.
  • I used to have a fear of bagels, but I finally got over my roll-phobia.
  • Did you hear about the baker who made a bagel with too much garlic? It was a little too seasoned.
  • Why did the bagel refuse to wear sunscreen? It didn’t want to get toasted.
  • My bagel keeps stealing my cream cheese. I told it to put a lox on it.
  • I was going to make a bagel joke, but it was toast before it even began.
  • The bagel was arrested for being too doughble-minded.
  • Did you hear about the bagel that exploded in the oven? It was a poppy-catastrophe.
  • What do you call a bagel that’s been sliced too thin? A bagel chip.
  • It’s never too early for a bagel pun. That’s just how I roll.
  • I bought my bagel at the flea market, and now it has sesame seeds.
  • Why did the man buy a bagel factory? He kneaded the dough.
  • My bagel thought it was a doughnut and put on too much glaze.
  • The bagel’s favorite TV show is Breaking Bread.
  • I gave my old bagel to my friend, and they said it was stale-mate.
  • The bagel loved to party because it had a wild ryze.
  • I made a bagel out of cardboard, and it was a fake-o bagel.
  • My friend told me that he met his girlfriend at the bagel shop. She was everything he was looking for.
  • Why did the bagel blush? Because it saw the cream cheese frosting.

One Liner Bagel Puns

  • Bagels are like emotions – they come in all shapes and flavors.
  • Why are bagels always calm? Because they’re never raisin their voices.
  • What do you call a bagel that’s been knighted? Sir Loin.
  • The bagel told the doughnut that it was over-glazed.
  • I want to be a bagel tester when I grow up. It’s my everything.
  • My doctor told me to eat more bagels, but I told him it was a hole other issue.
  • Why did the bagel break up with the toaster? It was getting burned out.
  • I told my friend that I liked my bagels like my humor – dark and twisted.
  • The bagel called the croissant a flaky friend.
  • I want to marry a bagel because it’s the complete package.
  • A bagel and a pretzel got into a fight. The bagel won because it put up a good crust.
  • Why don’t bagels like to take risks? They only like to play it lox.
  • My friend told me that he was allergic to gluten, and I told him that’s a rolls-royce problem.
  • The bagel asked his girlfriend if she wanted to get baked.
  • Why did the bagel start a band? Because it had all the right ryze and equipment.
  • I told my dad that I wanted to be a baker. He told me to rise to the occasion.
  • The bagel tried to flirt with the croissant, but it told him to crepe off.
  • Why don’t bagels like to go to the dentist? They don’t want to get everything bagel-ed.
  • I asked my bagel what it wanted to do today. It told me to go with the ryze and see where it takes us.
  • The bagel decided to take a day off because it kneaded a break.

Bagel Puns for Kids

  • Why did the bagel go to space? It wanted to see the loon-a!
  • The bagel called the donut a glaze-eball.
  • I asked my bagel if it wanted to play hide-and-seek. It told me to lox for it.
  • What do you call a bagel that tells jokes? A pun-kin seed bagel.
  • My bagel loves to play soccer. It’s always going for the lox.
  • The bagel told the muffin that it kneaded some alone-thyme.
  • When my little sister asked me how bagels are made, I told her it was a secret-dough recipe.
  • The bagel told the grapefruit that it was getting a little too pithy.
  • I asked my bagel if it was feeling okay. It told me it just had a little dough-pression.
  • My little brother made a bagel sandwich and called it a stack-o-muffin.
  • The bagel told the avocado that they were better together, like lox and cream cheese.
  • Why did the bagel go to the bank? It kneaded some dough.
  • I told my little cousin that I made a bagel pun, and he said, “I don’t see lox appeal.”
  • The bagel told the carrot that it was looking a little under-baked.
  • What do you call a bagel that’s on vacation? A lox-pedition.
  • The bagel said to the pancake, “Don’t worry, you’re still my butter half.”
  • The bagel told the jelly that it was the perfect partner, always filling the gaps.
  • Why did the bagel use its computer? It needed to check its email.
  • My little brother told me that he was going to bake a bagel, and I told him to try his yeast.
  • The bagel told the waffle that it was toasting its own horn.

Bagel Puns Used in Movies

  • In the movie It’s Complicated, Steve Martin’s character jokes about a “bagel choker” instead of a “bootlegger.”
  • In the movie Stranger Than Fiction, Will Ferrell’s character orders a plain bagel with cream cheese and is told, “That’s a good day’s work right there.”
  • In the movie Wayne’s World, Mike Myers’ character says, “We’re not worthy! We’re not worthy!” while holding a bagel in his hand.
  • In the movie Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist, Kat Dennings’ character says, “I like your hat,” and Michael Cera’s character responds with, “Thanks, I like your bagel.”

5 Examples of How Bagel Puns Grab Attention

Bagel puns aren’t just a fun addition to your morning – they can also be a great attention grabber in various situations. Here are five examples of how bagel puns can be used to grab attention:

  • Social media: Bagel puns are also great for social media posts. Using a witty pun in your captions or hashtags can make your post stand out and attract more likes and shares. For example, a photo of a beautiful bagel sandwich could be captioned, “The best things in life are meant to be devoured!”
  • Networking events: When attending networking events, using a fun and memorable icebreaker can help break the ice with potential connections. A bagel pun like “I’m an everything bagel – versatile and full of surprises!” could be a great way to start a conversation.
  • Presentations: If you’re looking to make a presentation more engaging and memorable, incorporating a bagel pun can be a great idea. For example, when discussing the importance of teamwork, you could say, “Just like a bagel, we all bring our unique flavor to the table.”
  • Resumes/Cover letters: Using a bagel pun in your resume or cover letter can also make your application stand out. For example, you could say, “I have a ‘bagel-to-bagel’ approach to problem-solving and am always looking for ways to improve and rise to the occasion.”
  • Marketing: If you’re in the food industry and want to promote your bagel products, using puns in your advertisements can be a great way to grab customers’ attention. For example, a bagel shop could use a pun like “We don’t carrot all, we put everything on our bagels!”


Bagel puns are a fun and creative way to add some humor into our daily lives. From simple puns like “bagel it on the line” to more elaborate ones like “bagel-icious,” the possibilities are endless. It’s amazing how such a small and humble food item like a bagel can bring so much joy and laughter to our lives.

I want to thank all the readers who took the time to read this blog post and appreciate the humor behind bagel puns. I hope that you were able to get some good laughs and maybe even share a few of these puns with your family and friends. Your support and engagement mean everything, and I am grateful for every one of you.

Finally, I encourage all readers to share their thoughts and feedback on this blog post and also visit our website for more ideas and inspiration. We are always looking for new and exciting ways to inject humor into our lives, and your feedback can help us do just that. Thank you again, and let’s keep the bagel puns rolling!

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